Sometimes Run-On Sentences Are Necessary

So I intended to write a post today chronicling the scriptures that gave me peace during the week of Brandt’s birth.

But then I went to visit Brandt this morning and got some bad reports that really weren’t so bad but discouraged me and the pump malfunctioned and the milk spilled and I didn’t get to hold Brandt for as long as I wanted and I had to go home knowing that I wouldn’t be able to visit him again today because Aaron starts grad school tonight and I found out that we might have a problem with health insurance and it all just seemed like too much and it was time to pump again and I didn’t want to pump I wanted to hold my baby but he’s sick and I can’t so I cried.

I tried to remember that I don’t need to fear anything that is frightening and that I shouldn’t borrow tomorrow’s troubles and that God is with me and sympathizes with my weaknesses.  I took a nap.  A friend called and I asked her to pray for me, and my soul felt a little soothed.  When it was time to pump again, I spent the time singing songs about how God restores weary souls and faithfully provides and hides a smiling face behind unhappy circumstances and stores up blessings in clouds that we dread.  I believe those things, even when it’s hard.  And I share this, not to ask for pity, but to be honest with my struggles and to say that God is good even on the bad days.

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15 Comments

Filed under Brandt

15 responses to “Sometimes Run-On Sentences Are Necessary

  1. You remind me of the Psalmists who poured their hearts out to the Lord, still declaring His goodness even as they spoke of the very real pains. Love you, friend, and so grateful for your humble honesty.

  2. Elisabeth

    Thanks for sharing your heart Andrea. May the Lord comfort you and give you hope as you trust in Him.

  3. Annika

    I agree with Katie!! I will pray for you tonight, and for little Brandt. Those run-on-sentences kinds of days are so hard…sounds like this was an especially hard one. God IS good…watching your heart and spirit become increasingly more beautiful over the past few difficult years is testimony to that. Loving you from all the way over here…

  4. Praying today is a brighter better day! Your little man is adorable;)! So very happy for you. God is so very very good!

  5. andrea,
    thank you for so humbly sharing your struggles….remember that God gives grace to the humble. you are an amazing pillar of strength, andrea,and i know that God is rejoicing over you as you embrace this season He is walking you through. we are continuing to pray for your sweet baby brandt and i will be praying for you as well. keep singing…….

    ~patty r.

  6. You are correct…God is good. All the time. He is with you through these hard days. He’s holding you and sweet Brandt, tightly in His hands. I know it’s extremely hard having to leave your baby at the hospital each and every day. I’m praying for you today. And it’s okay to cry – what you’re going through is so very hard.

    ((HUGS))

  7. MOM

    You know my favorite psalm (30:5) “Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning” My love and prayers surround you.

  8. MarySue

    This is a beautifully written post! Thank you for sharing your heart and your struggles so candidly. I love seeing how your faith remains steadfast through these trials — you are an inspiration to me!

  9. Annika

    So I just reread this…grad school? Okay, it’s been WAY too long since we all caught up!! 🙂

  10. sarah

    oh Andrea, my heart ached when I read this last night…I wanted to run right over there and drive you to the hospital, but it was kinda late. 🙂 I hope today is a much better day!

  11. amy

    I am so familiar with those run-on sentence days. Thanks for the reminder that God is good and real on those days, too. Praying that these days of being apart from your baby will go by quickly.

  12. Those days are hard. I haven’t had them in the same circumstance but I’ve watched the rain clouds come in saying “Again, God?!” and feeling like I couldn’t go on another moment with all the weight I was bearing. But somehow there were blessings…too many for me to recall at any one moment. I’m hugging you from here and praying for you. You’re suffering and it hurts even though there is a joyful end coming.

  13. Anna

    thinking of you and baby Brandt
    love u both!
    praying that he will soon be home with you

  14. He is good all the time, and He is most certainly holding you up during those trying times! Thinking of all of you so very often and praying you have lots and lots of good days ahead.

  15. sandy garrard

    Andrea, you are doing so well and the angels are round about you to bear you up through this hard time. Your words are so beautiful and I cry as I read them. God is so good and ever faithful! We love you, Brandt, and Aaron so much!

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