Here’s a funny thing about pregnancy after infertility. For years, I longed to join the “mom club” – to have some part in all of the conversations about pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting. Now I’m in the club, but I’m the initiate. I’m not the outsider looking in anymore, but now I’m the newbie being bombarded with stories and advice. And I don’t like it as much as I thought I would.
Being the novice with no experience is humbling. I would much rather give advice than receive it. I’m finally going to have a baby after five years of waiting… but I’ll be learning about parenting a newborn for the first time when most of my peers are parenting their preschoolers as well as their second, third, even fourth children. I’m a mom at last, but I still feel behind the curve. I still don’t feel like I quite belong in the “mom club.”
Last week, I read in Philippians 1 about believers having “partnership in the gospel.” And I realized that I had forgotten how important that is. When I was infertile and my friends were popping out babies, it was vital for me to remember that my fellowship with those ladies was based not on having the same life circumstances but on having the same Savior. In joining the “mom club,” I inadvertently started to look again for common ground in a season of life. But that common ground proved shaky. I easily focused on differences: she’s got a five-year-old, and I’m about to have a newborn; she’s parenting three kids, and I may never be given more than this one. The “mom club” disappoints – as it should! Because my unity with these friends is not motherhood or the particularities of parenting. Our unity is the same as it was before I became a fellow-mom. Whatever our differences, we have unity in the unchanging good news of redemption.
I’m so grateful for this pregnancy. For this baby. For this chance to be a mom. But I’m grateful, too, for the reminder of what really matters. I’m grateful that the gospel is the same now that I’m expecting a child as it was when I had nothing but broken hopes. And I’m grateful that God reminded me that I need the gospel just as much in this season of blessing as I did in the years of trial.