The Gospel Versus the “Mom Club”

Here’s a funny thing about pregnancy after infertility.  For years, I longed to join the “mom club” – to have some part in all of the conversations about pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting.  Now I’m in the club, but I’m the initiate.   I’m not the outsider looking in anymore, but now I’m the newbie being bombarded with stories and advice.  And I don’t like it as much as I thought I would.

Being the novice with no experience is humbling.  I would much rather give advice than receive it.  I’m finally going to have a baby after five years of waiting… but I’ll be learning about parenting a newborn for the first time when most of my peers are parenting their preschoolers as well as their second, third, even fourth children.  I’m a mom at last, but I still feel behind the curve.  I still don’t feel like I quite belong in the “mom club.”

Last week, I read in Philippians 1 about believers having “partnership in the gospel.”  And I realized that I had forgotten how important that is.  When I was infertile and my friends were popping out babies, it was vital for me to remember that my fellowship with those ladies was based not on having the same life circumstances but on having the same Savior.  In joining the “mom club,” I inadvertently started to look again for common ground in a season of life.  But that common ground proved shaky.  I easily focused on differences:  she’s got a five-year-old, and I’m about to have a newborn; she’s parenting three kids, and I may never be given more than this one.  The “mom club” disappoints – as it should!  Because my unity with these friends is not motherhood or the particularities of parenting.  Our unity is the same as it was before I became a fellow-mom.  Whatever our differences, we have unity in the unchanging good news of redemption.

I’m so grateful for this pregnancy.  For this baby.  For this chance to be a mom.  But I’m grateful, too, for the reminder of what really matters.  I’m grateful that the gospel is the same now that I’m expecting a child as it was when I had nothing but broken hopes.  And I’m grateful that God reminded me that I need the gospel just as much in this season of blessing as I did in the years of trial.

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “The Gospel Versus the “Mom Club”

  1. amy

    Such good words, Andrea, and so true. We look for commonalities in so many places other than our Lord, and focus on our differences all too often. Thanks for the reminder.

  2. Elisabeth

    I have found this to be so true this year. But, as you said, what a kindness of the Lord to remind us that we need the gospel, and that it is the gospel that unites us, not our circumstances.

  3. Fantastic post, Andrea. Although I’m still in the very early stages, I found myself identifying with and agreeing wholeheartedly with this post. Thanks for the reminder to look for and lean on the common ground of the Lord. I really needed that — because I fear I might never truly identify with the “mom club.”
    Thanks for sharing your wisdom! 🙂

  4. So true. No matter what our life circumstance is, we can always look for “common ground” in things other than the Gospel. There have been so many times where I’ve wondered if I could really truly connect with someone who wasn’t in the exact season of life I’m in…there are so many differences. I am so glad that the Gospel gives us that common ground, much stronger than any club. 🙂

  5. I think this post is incredible.

  6. Hanna

    These words are so true, Andrea. Which reminds me of how God worked so mightily in you during those years of trial because you ‘fit’ in just fine, as we focused on the common ground of the Gospel. God is mighty at work in you. Blessings…

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