Fearless

No bleeding since Thursday; bed-rest seems to do the trick.

When people ask how my heart is doing, how I’m dealing with this scary situation, I can say – surprisingly, honestly – that I haven’t felt afraid of losing the baby.  In these circumstances, I should be worried and fearful; but by God’s grace, I’m not presently experiencing fear at all.  Several scriptures have helped me:

Great peace have those who love your law; nothing can make them stumble (Psalm 119:165).

God’s law is his word, and his word is the primary means of knowing him.  Knowing him gives great peace.  Knowing him means that nothing – infertility, miscarriage, a complicated pregnancy – can make me stumble, ultimately.  That doesn’t mean those trials aren’t hard or don’t affect me, but it does mean that they can never cause me to topple off the rock of my salvation.

My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.  He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.  The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life.  The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore (Psalm 121:2-3, 7-8).

When I woke up on Friday morning, I started to fret that I might have unknowingly moved some way in my sleep that could have exacerbated the hematoma or harmed the baby.  Providentially, I read Psalm 121 among a number of other passages in my daily reading.  How comforting to know that the Lord is eternally, perfectly vigilant!  The One who made the whole universe watches over me and preserves me.

Lastly, a friend reminded me of a verse that has encouraged me so much in the past.  I had shared it with her, and she in turn shared it with me.  Speaking about Sarah and the holy beauty she gained by hoping in God and following her husband Abraham, 1 Peter 3:6 says to women:

And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Yes, a subchorionic hematoma is a frightening thing.  But I do not need to fear it, because I have a good and great Savior.

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9 Comments

Filed under meditation

9 responses to “Fearless

  1. patty r.

    Andrea,

    I just want to say that you are such an inspiration to me. Your amazing faith in God and your determination to trust in Him is so amazing. He is so worthy of our love and trust.
    I am continuing to pray for you. I wanted you to know that I went through a similiar thing in my 3rd pregnancy…the wait was hard, but God was faithful and pulled us through.
    So thankful for your example,
    ~patty r.

  2. Thanks for that encouragement. I will keep it in mind as my husband and I deal with our own struggle to get pregnant. It’s so good to be reminded of God’s perfect plan!

  3. I am thanking the Lord for giving you such peace in this time! You are so right — that can only come from him. What a blessing!

    Your words and the scriptures were also an encouragement to me as I woke up feeling some anxiety about my new cycle starting next week. Thank you.

  4. amy

    I continue to be amazed at the grace and faith you show through all trials. Truly, our Lord is doing a good work in and through you. Thank you for so faithfully going to him, and for sharing your journey with us. It is encouraging.

  5. Beth

    You are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing those words. With each of my pregnancies I have battled anxiety about miscarriage – and especially this time around because of being exposed to a potentially harmful virus the boys had a number of weeks ago – so these were really good words for me to hear. Thank you for sharing the light and hope that God places in your heart!

  6. Your faith has always inspired me. So happy to read that He has given you peace through this. No doubt, He holds you and baby in His very capable hands.

    ((HUGS))

  7. Rachel

    Praying for you! (Rachel Wimer)

  8. V

    I’m glad to hear that there has been no more bleeding, and that your faith is sustaining you. God bless.

  9. Eve

    I’m here from LCFA. I hope that things continue to get better for you and am so inspired by your faith in God. I was diagnosed with a SCH, too just yesterday after a VERY similar gush of bright red blood on Monday. I have never been so terrified in all my life. I’m 9 weeks pregnant with twins after IVF. I just kept praying, “God be with my twins and give me peace no matter what.”

    I’m on bedrest for the next week as well. I don’t have another u/s for two weeks though. I’ve had some brown spotting but no new red blood at this stage.

    I’ve heard differing statistics on the outcomes of pregnancies with SCH, but I’m just trying my best to give it to God as well. I know that he will be with me whatever the darkest valley…but I wish this wasn’t happening to us nonetheless!

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