One section of my discharge instructions after the transfer made me laugh. I thought I’d share the enjoyment with you, verbatim.
Sexual Relations: You may NOT resume intercourse until after your pregnancy test. [Further bold warning redacted for the sake of my younger readers.]
Smoking: It is most advisable to refrain from the usage of tobacco products while possibly pregnant.
Recreational Drugs: It is strongly recommended that you refrain from the use of any recreational drugs.
Don’t you think they got the severity of those warnings a little mixed up? Good thing for my guffawing self that the instructions also later specified:
laughing will not dislodge the embryos.
Now, I never studied anatomy, and biology was my least favorite class in my least favorite subject. But I think I retained enough knowledge of the human body to know that laughter – whether insipid tittering or hearty chortling – won’t likely convince the uterine muscle to eject all contents.
Still, nice of the clinic to cover all the possible questions!