Instructional Comedy

One section of my discharge instructions after the transfer made me laugh.  I thought I’d share the enjoyment with you, verbatim.

Recreational Activity:

Sexual Relations: You may NOT resume intercourse until after your pregnancy test.  [Further bold warning redacted for the sake of my younger readers.]

Smoking: It is most advisable to refrain from the usage of tobacco products while possibly pregnant.

Recreational Drugs: It is strongly recommended that you refrain from the use of any recreational drugs.

Don’t you think they got the severity of those warnings a little mixed up?  Good thing for my guffawing self that the instructions also later specified:

laughing will not dislodge the embryos.

Now, I never studied anatomy, and biology was my least favorite class in my least favorite subject.  But I think I retained enough knowledge of the human body to know that laughter – whether insipid tittering or hearty chortling – won’t likely convince the uterine muscle to eject all contents.

Still, nice of the clinic to cover all the possible questions!

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5 Comments

Filed under in-vitro fertilization

5 responses to “Instructional Comedy

  1. Coralie

    🙂 I remember wondering after my miscarriage if sudoku could cause another miscarriage. I only wondered it briefly, but the thought was there. I think they’re anticipating the hormonally induced irrational fears. 🙂

  2. My nurse told me that I would be surprised of the questions they receive! Obviously, someone has asked these or they wouldn’t have put them on there. HA! 🙂

  3. lol, that’s great! Hope you’re feeling well.

  4. amy

    Oh, goodness–too funny!

  5. Well then, by all means, laugh away! (Oh, and don’t do drugs.) 🙂

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