As I wait for the results of this IUI cycle, I continue to be grateful to God for the contentment he has given me even in the middle of trial. But I’ve discovered that contentment is accompanied by a danger; I’m no longer quite so aware of my need for God. Where I used to urgently search for daily truth and grace to sustain me in the midst of difficulty, I lately have read Scripture and prayed with a sense of complacency.
At church last Sunday, the message from Hebrews 2:1-4 spurred me on to guard against the danger of drift by paying “much closer attention” to the gospel. One of the application questions for the message was, “How do your affections for the gospel compare to where they were three months ago?” That question convicted me. My hard-won contentment was born out of gratitude for the gospel, but while the contentment has lingered, the cross-centeredness had not. So I have purposed, as I spend time with the Lord each day, to look more intentionally for the good news that Christ died for my sins.
Good news wasn’t too hard to find in my reading in Ephesians this morning!
“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ – by grace you have been saved – and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace and kindness towards us in Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 2:4-7).
What a celebration of the precious gospel! God is rich in mercy towards me, not stingy. Why? Because he loves me with a great love! And why does he love me? Not because of anything inherently lovely in me. I was dead in my sin, so it was as though God’s love wooed a corpse. But his love is strong enough to raise the dead; he made my soul alive with Christ. What a salvation! And not only did he resurrect this dead sinner, he has given me a place with Christ in his glory, an inheritance with the heir of the universe. All this God did so that he could show me the vast wealth of his grace and kindness. All his bounty is passed on to me through Christ. Content with my lot? How can I be less than content with the riches of the gospel at my disposal?