My husband is very funny; that’s one of the reasons I fell in love with him. Recently, his humor has begun to extend into the world of fertility. Here are a couple wisecracks he made this weekend:
I was experiencing some pretty sharp ovulation pangs (which I never had before taking Clomid, but have had each month since). Imagine a side cramp from running, but the pain is located about 3 inches below and to the side of your bellybutton. Anyway, I was joking with Aaron about how it is pretty inconvenient to have cramps that make a girl want to avoid intimacy around ovulation time when trying to conceive. “I mean,” I said, “it’s fairly counterproductive.” Without missing a beat, he turned to me and said, “Counter-REproductive!” (That may only be funny to you if you’re as immersed in all things reproductive as we are, but I thought it was pretty clever!)
Later this weekend, we were talking about baby names. Tongue in cheek, Aaron asked, “Do you think it would be presumptuous to give a child the first name ‘Saint’?”
His words often make me laugh. His words also often remind me of the truth I need to hear. After he picked me up from a baby shower this weekend, I cried to him in the car about how hard it is that what should be a special occasion to rejoice brings up so many feelings of hurt. I want to ooh and aah over all the cute baby clothes, but instead every outfit is a stabbing reminder of what I do not have. I want to laugh at the funny stories of breastfeeding, but instead I ache to wonder if I will ever experience that with a child of mine. Before we started trying to conceive, I could enjoy all of those things because I assumed they would be part of my life, too, someday. Now, I just don’t know if that will be the case. I ended by wailing to Aaron, “If only I knew for sure that we would conceive, and when, it would be so much easier!” He wisely and kindly responded, “It’s true that you don’t know what will happen, if you’ll ever be pregnant or not, but you do know one thing about your future. You know that one day you will be in heaven with our Savior.” Ah, what good words. I don’t know how my story will unfold in the years to come, but I do know the end of my story. And knowing that I have been redeemed so that I can be with my Lord in eternity, where every tear will be wiped away, makes everything easier to bear.